bloodzilla

For those who don't know, that dude up there is Billy Martin from Good Charlotte. Reason i posted that? i just watched the new video for their latest single 'keep your hands off my girl'. and to be totally honest, i'm not really impressed with the song. haha. anyways, i've always noticed that their videos don't feature enough of Billy ( i like watching him haha) or Paul or the drummers (i've lost count of how many they've had lol). It's mostly joel and benji. so anyways, if you wanna watch the video, watch it here.

And if you're a fan of Billy, i suggest you check out his site. It has some pretty interesting stuff.

go to bloodzilla.com

and since it's Halloween tonight....

Hahaha, Happy Halloween to you all.

Happy Halloween Bitches!!!

yep, it's halloween. too bad it's not some sort of big thing here. i think i'd love carving pumpkins... since i love getting my hands dirty with handicrafts and stuff. haha.

just wondering... why aren't there any Halloween songs?

and rach... did you see your japanese witch boy? hahahahah

oh and if anyone likes listening to acoustic guitars (don't worry i'm not asking you to listen to me play lol) try listening to Ben Harper's 'Morning Yearning'. beautiful stuff.

holiday overrrrr

i.am.so.fucking.chuffed.with.myself. :D not gonna elaborate more on that haha... keep wondering.

went back to coll today after a much needed one week break. was pretty relaxed throughout the whole week but amazingly, managed to complete most of my assignments. ironically, the one assignment that i'm NOT done with is the most important one. haha. typical.

I dunno if i should be happy or not but the date for my final presentation has been moved from the 1st of november to the 3rd. was kinda looking forward to the early submission cos i absolutely CANNOT wait for my hols. i just cant stand being in college anymore. On the other hand, the extended period does give me many extra hours to complete my garment. oh well.. i won't complain then :)

and i just realised today that i have a bit of a reputation as this gothic chick amongst some of my colle mates. i actually find it kinda flattering. lol.

and i also realised that most of the songs i can play on acoustic guitar so far are oldies hahaha. wtf man. pink floyd, america, bob dylan?? talk about backwards. lol. but hey, they're classics.

anyways, tomorrow is halloween! well.. it's not that i celebrate it or whatever. just thought it should be mentioned haha.

this is more like it

hehe, i officially love idobi radio. here's yesterdays playlist (from www.idobi.com)

Yesterday's Playlist (10/27/2006)

Acceptance, Permanent
Acceptance, Take Cover
Adelphi, Attention
AFI, Miss Murder
Allister, 2 A.M.
Allister, Alone
Allister, D²
Allister, Know-It-All
Allister, Scratch
Allister, Waiting
All Time Low, Coffee Shop Soundtrack
All Time Low, Hustler
All Time Low, Jasey Rae
Amber Pacific, Always You (...
Amber Pacific, Gone So Young
Amber Pacific, Poetically Pathetic
American Hi-Fi, I'm A Fool
American Hi-Fi, The Art Of Losing
Armor For Sleep, Raindrops
Army Of Freshmen, Get Um Up
Army Of Freshmen, Juliet
Army Of Freshmen, Road Less Traveled
Army Of Me, Come Down to DC
Army Of Me, Safe Here
A Static Lullaby, The Shooting St...
Atreyu, Living Each Day Like Y...
Big 10-4, Walking Disaster
Blink 182, Adam's Song
Blink 182, Feeling This
Brand New, Failure By Design
Brand New, Jude Law And A Semeste...
Brand New, Play Crack the Sky
Brand New, Seventy Times 7
Brand New, The Quiet Things That ...
Brodie, High Standards
Cartel, Honestly
Cartel, Luckie St.
Cartel, Say Anything (Else...
Cartel, The Ransom
Cobra Starship, Snakes On a Pla...
Cute Is What We Aim For, There's A Class...
Dashboard Confessional, Hands Down
Dashboard Confessional, Screaming Infid...
Dashboard Confessional, Vindicated
Day At The Fair, And My Name's D...
Death Cab For Cutie, Crooked Teeth
Denver Harbor, Picture Perfect...
Die Trying, Oxygen's Gone
Die Trying, Turn Up The Radio
Don't Look Down, Can You Hear Me?
Eleventyseven, More Than A Rev...
Faktion, Letting You Go
Fall Out Boy, Dance, Dance
Fall Out Boy, Dead On Arrival
Fall Out Boy, Grenade Jumper
Fall Out Boy, Homesick At Space Camp
Fall Out Boy, Of All The Gin ...
Fall Out Boy, Sending Postcar...
Fenix*TX, A Song For Everyone
Finch, Perfection Through Sil...
FM Static, Definitely Maybe
FM Static, The Notion
Gob, Ming Tran
Goldfinger, Counting The Days
Good Charlotte, Day That I Die
Good Charlotte, Ghost of You
Good Charlotte, I Just Wanna Live
Good Charlotte, Mountain
Good Charlotte, My Bloody Valentine
Good Charlotte, S.O.S.
Good Charlotte, Walk Away (...
Grandview, In My Eyes
Grandview, Underaged Tragedy
Green Day, American Idiot
Green Day, Favorite Son
Green Day, Letterbomb
Green Day, St. Jimmy
Guff, Where Will You Break
Halifax, Our Revolution
Halifax, Straight Up
Halifax, Sydney
Halifax, The Inevitability Of A...
Hawthorne Heights, Ohio Is For Lov...
Hazen Street, Crossroads
Head Automatica, Beating Heart Baby
Head Automatica, God
Head Automatica, Graduation Day
Head Automatica, Laughing At You
Hedley, On My Own
Hellogoodbye, All Of Your Love
Hellogoodbye, Bonnie Taylor S...
Hellogoodbye, I Saw It On You...
Hellogoodbye, Shimmy Shimmy Q...
Hellogoodbye, Touchdown Turna...
Home Grown, Give It Up
Home Grown, My Time Alone
Home Grown, Why Won't You Leave?
Hoobastank, The Reason
Hot Hot Heat, Middle Of Nowhere
Houston Calls, A Pen And A Pie...
Houston Calls, One More Won't Hurt
Houston Calls, Sunrise Goodbyes
I Am The Avalanche, Bloody Symphony
Jack's Mannequin, Dark Blue
Jack's Mannequin, I'm Ready
Jack's Mannequin, Miss Delaney
Jack's Mannequin, The Mixed Tape
Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American
Jimmy Eat World, Futures
Jimmy Eat World, Pain
Jimmy Eat World, The World You Love
Jonezetta, Burn It Down!
Just Surrender, Forgotten Not F...
Just Surrender, Is There No Tru...
Just Surrender, Of All We've Known
Just Surrender, She Broke My He...
Just Surrender, Tell Me Everything
Just Surrender, What We've Become
Last Week, I Would Believe You
Last Week, Unpredictable
Less Than Jake, Liquor Store
Lit, Looks Like They Were R...
Lola Ray, Automatic Girl
Lola Ray, What It Feels Like
Lostprophets, Rooftops
Mae, Anything
Mae, Suspension
Matchbook Romance, If All Else Fails
Matchbook Romance, My Eyes Burn
Matchbook Romance, The Greatest Fa...
Matches, Scribble
Matches, Sick Little Suicide
Mest, Drawing Board
Mest, Lost Broken Confused
Mest, Paradise (122nd An...
Mest, Photographs
Mest, Take Me Away (Crie...
Midtown, Give It Up
Millencolin, Friends 'til the end
Millencolin, Material Boy
Millencolin, No Cigar
Motion City Soundtrack, Better Open The...
Motion City Soundtrack, Hold Me Down
MxPx, The Story
MxPx, Wrecking Hotel Rooms
My Chemical Romance, Heaven Help Us
My Chemical Romance, Welcome To The ...
Name Taken, Someone
New Found Glory, All About Her
New Found Glory, Black And Blue
New Found Glory, Head On Collision
New Found Glory, It's Not Your Fault
New Found Glory, Truth Of My Youth
New Found Glory, Understatement
NHOI, Hard Headed
NHOI, Lets Go All The Way
NHOI, Satisfied
NHOI, She's Over It
October Fall, Caught In The Rain
October Fall, Keep Dreaming U...
October Fall, Keep It Comin'
October Fall, Second Chances
Over It, Anyday Now
Over It, Crush
Over It, Never Get Enough
Over It, Siren On The 101
Over It, Too Much Information
Over It, Waiting
Over It, We Are The Ordinary
Over It, Your Song
Panic! At The Disco, London Beckoned...
Panic! At The Disco, Lying Is The Mo...
Panic! At The Disco, The Only Differ...
Pinhead Gunpowder, Reach For The B...
Pinhead Gunpowder, Walkin Catastro...
Plain White T's, Take Me Away
Punchline, Caller 10
Punchline, Green Light
Punchline, Not Afraid
Quietdrive, Take A Drink
Rancid, Fall Back Down
Rancid, Roots Radicals
Relient K, Be My Escape
Relient K, College Kids
Relient K, High of 75
Relient K, I So Hate Consequences
Relient K, Manic Monday
Relient K, More Than Useless
Relient K, Who I Am Hates Who I'v...
Riddlin' Kids, Blind
Riddlin' Kids, Crazy
Riddlin' Kids, I Feel Fine
Riddlin' Kids, Nowhere To Run
Rookie Of The Year, Liars And Battl...
Route 215, GTT
Route 215, Steal Your Soul
Saves The Day, Banned From The...
Saves The Day, This Is Not An Exit
Saves The Day, Your Ghost Take...
Senses Fail, Buried A Lie
Senses Fail, Choke On This
Sherwood, I'm Asking Her To Stay
Simple Plan, Crazy
Simple Plan, Everytime
Simple Plan, Jump
Simple Plan, Perfect
Simple Plan, Promise
Simple Plan, Welcome To My Life
Something Corporate, (Hurricane&...
Something Corporate, Down
Something Corporate, If You C Jordan
Something Corporate, I Want To Save ...
Something Corporate, Little
Something Corporate, Space
Stabbing Westward, Bizarre Love Tr...
Stole Your Woman, I Don't Care
Strung Out, Match Book
Sugarcult, Daddy's Little Defect
Sugarcult, Do It Alone
Sugarcult, Worst To December
Sum 41, All Messed Up
Sum 41, Nothing On My Back
Sum 41, Pieces
Sum 41, Some Say
Sum 41, Subject To Change
Taking Back Sunday, Great Romances ...
Taking Back Sunday, Twenty Twenty S...
Taking Back Sunday, Up Against (...
Terror, Another Face
The Academy Is..., Black Mamba
The Academy Is..., Season
The Academy Is..., Slow Down
The All-American Rejects, It Ends Tonight...
The All-American Rejects, Move Along
The All-American Rejects, Stab My Back...
The All-American Rejects, Straightjacket ...
The All-American Rejects, Swing, Swing...
The Ataris, My Hotel Year
The Ataris, My So Called Life
The Ataris, San Dimas High ...
The Ataris, Summer Wind Was...
The Classic Crime, Coldest Heart
The Click Five, Just The Girl
The Early November, Fluxy
The Early November, Hair
The Early November, Long Talks
The Early November, Money In His Ha...
The Early November, No Good At Sayi...
The Early November, Outside
The Elliot Project, Tell Me Single
The Exies, Lo-Fi
The Get Up Kids, I'm A Loner Dot...
The Get Up Kids, Valentine
The Hush Sound, Crawling Toward...
The Junior Varsity, Get Comfortable
The Movielife, Hand Granade
The Movielife, Jamestown
The Pink Spiders, Little Razorblade
The Pink Spiders, Modern Swinger
The Pink Spiders, Saturday Night ...
The Pink Spiders, Still Three Shy
The Rocket Summer, Brat Pack
The Sammies, Tranwreck
The Spill Canvas, Staplegunned
The Starting Line, Bedroom Talk
The Starting Line, Leaving
The Starting Line, Stay Where I Ca...
The Starting Line, The Best of Me
The Starting Line, The World
The Summer Obsession, Burning Bridges...
The Summer Obsession, Disappear
The Summer Obsession, Melt the Sugar
The Used, Blue and Yellow
The Used, Buried Myself Alive
The Used, I Caught Fire (In ...
The Used, Let It Bleed
This Providence, Anything Is Pos...
This Providence, Secret Love and...
Thrice, Hoods on Peregrine
Thursday, Signals Over the Air
Underoath, Watch me Die
Underoath, When The Sun Sleeps
Unwritten Law, Cailin
Wakefield, C'mon Baby
Wakefield, Give Me A Reason
Yellowcard, Breathing
Yellowcard, One Year, Six Months

Look, it plays bands like acceptance, american hi-fi, blink 182, dashboard confessional, halifax, hawthorne heights, jack's mannequin, jimmy eat world, lostprophets, mcr, nfg, panic! at the disco, plain white t's, sugarcult, taking back sunday, the academy is..., the all american rejects, the early november, the ataris, the pink spiders, the used (!!!), Thursday.... wow. i am in heaven. seriously, you will NOT be able to find any radio station here which plays all of these bands. seriously.

And hey, so what if it's mostly punk and emo? :D

since local radio stations suck, part 2

Since i started a rant on music played on local radio stations, i figured i might as well add more to it. lol.

here are some bands i like who dont get coverage here. at all (or at least not that i've heard)

1. emanuel
2. acceptance
3. halifax
4. hawthorne heights
5. the academy is...
6. paramore
7. the cinematics
8. evaline
9. the early november
10. bleed the dream
11. omnisoul

and here are more popular and well known bands who don't get as much coverage (here) as they should.

1. THE USED (how come they can play mcr but not the used??)
2. taking back sunday
3. sugarcult
4. funeral for a friend
5. lostprophets (well only until recently. i dont recall mtv or whatever playing any lostprophets songs before 'rooftops' came put. pfft)
6. the panic channel (not the japanese band)
7. yeah yeah yeahs

maybe i should start my own radio station or something like that. haha. playing strictly rock music. woohoohoo. sounds like fun. who supports me? hahah. yes i'm bored.

since local radio stations suck

Dammit. I've been feeling so lazy this holiday. Well, i suppose it's pretty normal since holiday should mean 'no assignments!!!'. Ugh... I've been doing my work pretty slowly for this past week. I still have to mount my weaving assignment, complete my dress, bind my retail design report, do several boards for fashion design... argh. sounds bad. Only have 3 more days to complete everything before i go back to coll.

For some reason I've been really hating going to college this semester. Dunno what's wrong with me, since I had no problems with it the previous semesters. Going to coll just irritates me nowadays. Well i guess i wont have to put up with it much longer anymore since hols are just around the corner. Then i get to go to Penang and chill out and just zone out from everything here. This sem hasn't been a particularly good one for me.

Anyways, call me lame or outdated or whatever, i realised i can listen to radio on itunes! hahaha. i always knew the option was there but i never tried clicking it until today. Simple Plan posted a new blog on their myspace page today and mentioned this particular station: idobi radio. If you have itunes, click 'radio' then click 'alt/modern rock' and look for idobi radio. If you like bands like Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, The Summer Obssession, Relient K, New Found Glory... i think this is the station to listen to.

Yay, no more listening to Hitz.fm! lol. I wish Hitz would play better music. Nowadays i prefer Fly fm to Hitz. But now since i discovered itunes radio i think there'll be no more local radio channels for me haha. Under the alt/rock section there's already like what? 80 streams? i'm in heaven haha. And there's also classic rock stations. Hehe, i can listen to the likes of Pink Floyd, Queen and ELO without having to dig out my dad's old albums lol!I have noticed though, that some stations stall quite a bit. oh well.. nothing's perfect right?

btw, rach. there's also a station that plays anime music. lol!

well, i better get goin now. Lots of work to complete. groan...

wanted!

Woke up this morning expecting to have a nice relaxing day. haha. ended up going to Sungei Wang Plaza. Decided to bring my guitar along since the strings are in desperate need of changing. Seriously, it sounded so dull. I'm still learning, so i'm no expert but it definitely needed changing. People were looking at me strangely as i was walking along the road carrying that huge thing. lol.

Anyways, the point is i finally changed my guitar strings. yay :) Sounds so much better now. The only thing is, when i was at Chambers, there were so many nice guitars. Both acoustic and electric. Damn, now i'm thinking of getting a new one. haha. seriously. I had my guitar since i was in form 4 i think. that was 2003. Only 3 years ago. And the guitar is in a pretty bad condition already. Won't go into detail though. Pretty damn embarrasing. haha. Didnt really pick it up seriously until this year. And i really wanna learn electric guitar. i love watching people play. So awesome. In fact i wanna learn drums too. i think i'm getting a lil too ambitious now lol (and I love watching guys on drums. SO HOT! haha)

So i went to the Gibson Guitar website just to have a look around and i found this guitar.

pictures from www.gibson.com SO HOT!!!! i want this guitar!!! Just look at all those details on the headstock, pickguard and the fingerboard. Even the bridge is so beautifully done. It's so freaking gorgeous. Damnnn.... Oh and check out this series by Taylor Guitars as well. Love the design on the fingerboard.

ok, so enough of guitar talk. After a weekend (and two more days) of procrastination i decided to start doing some work today. Finally completed my presentation technique class' assignments. This class uses Adobe Illustrator. And after many hours of staring at the computer screen i FINALLY finished tracing that goddamn model. haha. Finished printing everything out and mounted everything today. Also almost done with my textile design assignments. Ironed all my tie and dye pieces and put them in a folder. And completed 50 percent of my weaving (bloody tedious assignment). Tonight will most probably continue weaving (i sound like a granny) cos i wanna get it outta the way as soon as possible. I still have to do my cocktail dress and my retail design assignment. Gawd. and everything's due on nov 1st! arghhh..

Anyways, i'll be goin now. Looks like its gonna pour outside. Bloody hell don't wanna get my modem struck by lightning again. i'm gone.

somewhere out there

Perhaps I seem kinda shallow or fickle or whatever typing this particular post after the last post. But what the heck. I need to think of other things right? Yeah well my mood has been changing pretty frequently (and rapidly) this past week. I’m sure those who read will kinda know what happened without me having to state the obvious. I never liked putting personal stuff on my blogs but I realise that it kinda makes me feel better?

So my mood has been:
On the day of the incident – depressed, heartbroken, disappointed, angry, shocked
day 1 after the 'incident' - totally normal, totally happy, totally in control
day 2 - upset. period.
day 3 - alone at home but feeling better.
day 4 - perfectly fine at first. then slowly changed a little towards sad. then i just started daydreaming (i think the fumes in the batik room were affecting me lol)
day 5 - normal again
day 6 - normal, then sad, then normal again
day 7 - normal :)

sheesh. talk about mood swings. i feel weird. never experienced so many emotions at one go before. O_o

anyways. as i was saying, you might think me shallow after reading this post. and as i was also saying , "whateverrrrr". lol. So here it is. I was having an sms conversation with one of my friends two days ago. i'm not gonna say who cos i dont wanna embarrass her. hahaha. she knows who she is anyways. So we started talking about what kind of guys we like. or should i say want? and she said all she wants is a hot guy who's at least 7 inches. hahaha. totally cracked me up. conversation kinda continued today too. with the rest of the girls :) So it got me thinking. what kinda guy do I like? i realised i'm a pretty fussy person if i'm being totally honest with myself. So here is what I like. lol (told ya i was gonna sound shallow)

a guy who...
1. is good looking (duh,who doesnt want a good looking guy)
2. is taller than me
3. is preferably skinny but athletic
4. is funny but not lame
5. cares as much about me as i care about him (never thought it would be so important to me until now)
6. plays guitar and/or drums (always a plus point for me ;p)
7. has natural dark hair (preferably NOT dyed with any fancy pansy colours. Most guys with dyed hair end up looking totally ah beng)
8. likes rock music and rock music only hahaha
9. DOES NOT SMOKE AT ALL and does not take drugs either
10. doesnt drink. but if that's not possible then at least someone who doesnt drink until he's totally hammered
11. hates clubbing. haha
12. can drive lol (ok this is more for convenience sake than anything lol)
13. knows when i need his support/care/love (i put my hopes too high)
14. dresses well. actually casual is enough as long as he doesnt look ah beng (sorry if i insult any ah bengs)
15. (oh and if possible) doesnt wear bright pink for goodness sake (who the hell started this trend??)
16. surfs or skateboards (another plus point whoohoohoo)
17. (after hearing an incident from rach) is not so crazy about religion or stuff like that (don't get me wrong. i have nothing against religion. it's just that i'm a free thinker)
18. loves me for who i am and doesnt try to change me in any way
19. will treat me equally as his friends (yes, you understood right. i dont demand to be treated better than his friends)
20. will not do to me what i wouldnt do to him
21. doesnt take me for granted
22. doesn't tell me things he doesn't mean
23. is not younger than me
24. is not just interested in the physical nature of a relationship
25. won't go back on his words
26. is loyal (duh)

wow. 26 things. hmm... i'm sure if i were given more time i'd be able to come up with LOTS more hahaha. Now only one question stands. where on earth am i gonna find him?? lol. damn, he sounds totally perfect. And totally impossible to come across. And you know what, the best guys always seem to be taken. Or gay. hahaha. ok i'm in a weird mood today. i better scoot before i begin sounding totally bimbotic (or have i already done that? blehhh).

btw. i hate festive seasons. the fireworks always disturb my sleep. lol. im out.

Something's gone, you withdraw and I'm not strong like before I was

I woke up this morning feeling strange. as if there was a heavy weight upon me..It's strange that when you think the feeling is gone or when you think you're finally over something, you wake up the next morning feeling worse than ever. i wont pretend it doesn't hurt. i won't pretend i'm completely over it. i think deep inside there will always be a place for it. the memories, the hurt, the regret, the disappointment, the emotions. yes, i am beginning to move on. But it's hard to let go of something you felt so much about. And you just cant help but feel strange when u think back on all the memories, and realise that that person is no longer with you. i admit that it hurts.

i always thought i can do things on my own. i always thought that i didn't need anyone. I still have my family and my friends who have always been there no matter what. And i am grateful for that. But still, for some reason, i feel alone. i feel more alone than i have ever felt. It reminds me of that song by Third Eye Blind that says the line "i never felt alone til i met you, i'm alright on my own and then i met you". I guess i never gave that line a second thought until now. and it's ironic that it had to be that particular song. It's ridiculous i know, to keep dwelling on this. To keep wondering and thinking about it. I shouldnt be thinking about it cos i know he's not. It just baffles me how a person can change so rapidly in just a matter of days. How you can just cut someone out of your life just like that.

It's hard to forget something you felt so much about. It's hard to force yourself to forget something. It's hard to move on when something just fell apart in a flash. It's hard to erase the memories which are so treasured. it's hard to accept that the person in those memories arent there anymore. It's hard to see that person around and not have any communication or signs of recognition anymore. It's hard to believe that you don't know a person as much as you thought you did. and it's hard to ever trust or love somebody again.

*you complained before that i never showed any emotion, that i was emotional-less. yet when i finally did, you didnt want to deal with it.*

wheeeeeeeeee..!!!!!

*yayness* holiday is finally here! *phew* finally have time to catch up on some work.. staying up late for the past few days hasn't been much of a help, so hopefully this week long break is enough ( it better be cos if not i am fucking screwed since final submission for everything is next next week argh..) damn i need sleep. feel like a damned zombie. been zoning out in class. cant concentrate in pattern drafting class (lecturer must think i'm such a bum lol) and i couldnt even stay in the stupid batik room today cos of the goddamn smell. blechh.

chemical smells + lack of sleep = instant woozy-ness O_o *dizzy.....*

thats all for today. i... need... sleep... zzzz...

deep inside of you

i have never been a particularly emotional person. in fact i have sometimes been accused of having a lack of emotions. or having none at all. i think i've been afraid of showing how i feel. afraid of letting others know my true feelings. i hide behind this wall, trying to protect myself. don't ask me why. i wouldnt be able to tell you as i have no clue myself. I think this time, i let myself down. dropped that wall. allowed myself to open up. allowed myself to get hurt.

For some reason i've been playing How's It Gonna Be by Third Eye Blind for the past couple of days. really easy song to play. Just need an acoustic guitar and a capo (thanks Andrew, Yin, Alex and Yiing Y'ng for the bday present btw. came in handy at the perfect time :D) I think it reminds me of him. It hurts when i play it. (ok... but why do i still do it? sheesh) I know i shouldnt be thinking of him. I know it's not worth it. I can't even listen to certain songs without thinking of him.. Dammit. Music has always been important to me. but now i cant even listen to the songs i like.

anything by third eye blind (especially 'deep inside of you'), the freshmen by Verve Pipe, lips of an angel by Hinder, all that i've got and under pressure by The Used, vindicated and hands down by Dashboard Confessional, even justin timberlake's sexy back. It's so stupid. I think i'm dumb to post this. But i'm gonna do it anyway. I think by letting it out i feel better. i guess the saying is true. 'the first cut is the deepest'. I dont care what people think. cos for once i'm gonna have my moment of selfishness. For once i'm gonna do something for my own sake and my own only. Say whatever you want to say. Cos it's only gonna make me stronger. Don't you dare call me weak and pathetic cos this is how i cope and this is how i do things. so there.

i'm out.

leave - matchbox 20

note: perhaps this is how i say goodbye. a way for me to let go. i always loved this song. one of my favourite songs ever. never thought it would mean so much to me in the end. never thought i'd be able to relate to it. i realise this song pretty accurately voices how i feel. maybe i seem lame by doing this. but hey, i don't care what people think. i've said this before. i do what i feel like doing. so there. i know it sounds like a pretty screwed thing to say, but hey. so here it is.

Leave - Matchbox 20

It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

It's aggravating
How you threw me on and you tore me out
How your good intentions turn to doubt
The way you needed time to sort it out

I'm not saying there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

I'm not saying there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

Tell me is that how it's going to end
When you know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
And the one you're leaving out
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving outp.s: no, i'm not pathetic. i just want to let go for good. i think it's a closure for me. cos i already feel better :D

All I want inside I still am empty

for some reason, i'm suddenly longing for a new release from The Used. lol. don't ask why. i've been listening to lunacy fringe over and over again. even found a 'nightmare before christmas' amv on youtube which used the song. *wheee jack skellington....!* haha.

Speaking of The Used...i know this is old news but i had to mention that Branden is no longer with the band. And they have yet to recruit a new drummer. That's strange. i thought they were in the process of making a new album. plus branden is still featured n their banners on their myspace page hahaha. ah well.. anyway i just want to say "yay, thank goodness Quinn is still with them!!" haha madness there. ok. here's a tribute to one of my favourite bands :) thank you youtube wahahah


all that i've got. i love this song so damn much


blue and yellow. ooh something slow by them hehe


the taste of ink. love this song too


i caught fire


take it away


buried myself alive. i love this!! (who am i kidding, i love everything by them lol)


here's that 'the nightmare before christmas' vid i mentioned. too cute. haha. song is lunacy fringe.

lastly, here's a live version of all that i've got. really like the arrangement. especially the beginning :)


that's all for this post. i love listening to these guys when i'm down. i guess that's what's up (or should i say down) with me these days. i don't see the need to elaborate here. oh well. things will pass i guess. just hope it happens soon. gotta go.

read it yourself

baca di sini

remember. smoking is a bane. Amen.

Rooney!

No i do NOT mean the footballer. I mean the band. This band.


Cute? Hahaha.. Some may recognise the lead singer as that guy from the movie 'The Princess Diaries'. Robert Schwartzman. However he is known as Robert Carmine when he's in his band. Anyways, the reason i'm mentioning them is cos their new album is gonna be released on October 10th! that's next week woohoohoo! Hmm.. now i wonder if they'll release it in Malaysia..

the worst part of blogging is thinking of a damn title

it's a friday and i'm off!! yayyyy...! lol. well.. actually i'm not supposed to be off. Here's the deal.

I was supposed to go to coll today to show my lecturer my sketches for my next design. we're supposed to be doing evening wear this time. dunno how it's gonna turn out. i'm more of a street wear type of person O_o. plus my sewing skills totally suck. Die lorrrrr...!! I was also supposed to hand up my textile design assignments. which are kinda overdue. hehe. And my cheongsam. which i have yet to complete. Dammit. I am so behind in my work.

So what am i doing here typing away as if i had all the time in the world? Well i wasn't feeling well yesterday. Had a headache and a slight sore throat. I think it must be the haze. It's so dull outside. Can hardly see the sky. Everything seems yellowish for some reason. Well not exactly yellow yellow but more like a beige-y... ahh whatever. Not important. lol. Basically the haze is so bad you can smell the smoke as soon as you come out from your room. Even my glasses (which i wear when i'm at home) are getting speckles of dust all over it. haha. no kidding. but not like an entire layer la...

So where was i? oh yeah. i wasn't feeling well. so since mum said she's not free to take me home if i go to coll today, she suggested that i skip class. cos that way my condition won't get worse and so that she won't have to worry about me coming home. So that's how i got an unexpected day off. So since i was off yesterday as well... i have an extra long weekend! whoopee!! Hopefully i can finish all my assignments by monday...

So lets see. here's what i have to do this weekend:
1) complete cheongsam
2) sketch more designs for the evening wear assignment
3) Do more research on my subject matter
4) complete the matching skirt for my already-submitted jacket
5) Try to complete Presentation tech. assignments (using Adobe Illustrator)
6) Get enough sleep so i won't look like a zombie on my birthday! LOL

Apart from this week's work, i still have lots more to worry about. I have yet to do my batik assignment which is due on week 14 (we're going into week 11 already), we have another textile design assignment coming up... and lots more to come. damn.

And there's something wrong with the stupid computer in my room. I don't like referring to it as my computer cos it used to be my aunt's computer and it fu*king sucks! Some old version which always breaks down, has no internet connection (whats the damn point), is bloody slow and takes up most of the place on my table. Now it won't even turn on. Meaning i can't do any late night (and often 'last-minute') typing work cos the other computer (this one im using) is in my parents room. sigh.

And my stupid guitar need new strings. It sounds bloody awful. Eeeeeeeeee.... I need to spend so much money this month. And the month has just started! Let's see. i need to spend on guitar strings, art material, fabric, other stuff like beads and various accessories for my garments, and lots more. daaamnnnitttttt.... Plus i'm considering cutting my hair. Below my chin. What do you people think? hmm... Kinda worried about how i'll look. Oh well. hair grows right? speaking of hair, i love the new shampoo my mum bought. makes my hair smell delicious haha (talk about randomness O_o).

For some weird reason i feel like listening to Linkin Park now. Lolz. Haven't heard their music for a while now. I think Rach still has my cd. Do you Rach? Wait.. no point me asking that here. Her comp is still down i think. haha. My mp3 player needs new songs. Getting a little bored. But i can't be bothered to download new songs now. Just don't feel like it. Plus, my dad's already irritated that his comp is full of my music. kekeke.

*my gosh this is turning into a really long post isn't it?*

i'm so full of crap today. Hahaha. Hey anyone know when 'Open Season' is being released in cinemas? I need to watch a movie. I need to get out. I need my B's (rach, ani, mon, shal, yen, carlyn i miss you guys!!!), i need something to make me laugh my mad-cow-disease-laugh (like ani would say, lol :p).

I never thought i would say this but i miss high school. I miss the simplicity of it. i miss my high school bums. I miss sitting at the back door with rach where ani and shal used to sit and yen will come from the other class to visit us, i miss not doing add maths and getting away with it haha. i miss getting up those stupid probationers nerves my having my pinafore buckle missing. lol. argh... i loved coll at first. Now the thought of it just makes me irritated. I still have until next year before i graduate. Man, that sounds too long. But then again, i'm not exactly looking forward to working.. i know, I can never make up my mind.

Well, i'm gonna end this now. Before i get more random or emotional or whatever. haha. Oh and btw, thank you seiwling for the early birthday present! and agan, sorry i didnt manage to get one for you....! :(





(ok ok i'm going now!) :p