splog

i've noticed that for the past few weeks i've been a bit disorientated. i don't know what's going on but i havent been able to concentrate or understand things immediately. weird. i'm also very bored. thus the 3 blog posts in less than two days. splogging.

i think i've reached that point in life that everyone goes through. the depression stage. you know, that stage of your life when you think you're useless or are wasting/wasted your life doing something you thought you'd always wanted. you wonder if you took the right paths or if you're heading in the right direction and yet you're totally clueless about how to fix it to make yourself feel better. hmm.

i was having a conversation with someone that day saying i miss university. at first i wasn't sure why i felt that way. hell, the bunch of us used to say we couldnt wait to get out of uni. i realize why i miss it now. i miss having people my own age around me. god, i miss the people so damn much. as much as i hated the drama that came with some people, i really do miss the atmosphere. you could just talk about anything, pure rubbish and still have a good laugh. even just watching people was entertaining. i used to just sit in the plaza to people-watch, aight. humans are interesting creatures. nowadays i'm stuck in an office from 10am to 7pm, 6 days a week. with 4 adults. sigh. i'm not saying i don't like them. they're perfectly great people. it's just not having someone around my age that i can relate to, having no one with similar interests... it is pretty darn depressing. and really unmotivating.

i think all these thoughts have been cropping up since i havent really had anything to do at work for the past few weeks. dark thoughts cloud empty minds. lol.

i have come to the conclusion that i'm not cut out for setting up a business in the haute couture industry. as an assistant, i can take it. but to set up a business, i don't think i'll be able to do it. no incident in particular triggered off this realization. i've just observed and heard things lol. tolerating and pleasing fussy rich people and media is not something i am fond of. the drama and politics involved. ugh. i had enough drama in university, thank you very much.

i also realize that i am not fond of rich old/middle-aged malaysian ladies in general. it irritates me tremendously when i say 'hello' or 'good morning' and they just look past me. hello bitch, will a smile cost you a wrinkle on your face? or perhaps the price of your wealth was your manners? just because i'm younger than you or just some 'assistant' who doesnt need to be taken notice of right? i say rich malaysian ladies because so far from my experience, the foreign people who walk in are generally friendlier. an american lady walked in today and she was a real delight. haha. but seriously, geez, what is it with our locals? ok la to be fair, there are nice ones too. but still!

to elaborate on my lack of attentiveness these past few weeks, i've started so many drawings and left them incomplete. i've bought books which i read halfway and left unfinished. i watch movies halfway and don't bother finishing them. i go to sleep at 8pm, wake up at 10, and then go back to sleep at 3am.

speaking of movies, i watched vicky cristina barcelona last night (unfinished). is it wrong that i thought javier bardem was hot? lol. i also don't understand why scarlett johansson's and penelope cruz's names are both at the top of the movie poster when rebecca hall (who played vicky as in 'vicky from whom the movie title derived it's name from') was billed at the bottom. queers.